Walk Home speech
This is a transcription of this audio (I decided to run right before recording this which was a really smart idea):
tab:https://drive.google.com/file/d/11Pp0CpKcj5uZ1imr5g7ORJI37n0HaNFc/view?usp=sharing
So I'm walking down
So I just look. ah fuck it.
So I just left the gym, yeah, and I dunno in the gym I was really happy like maybe it's the endorphins. I dunno.
Even though every set was painful. It's way better than being at home and being on youtube, you know wasting my life away.
And I really enjoy that(the gym).
I like spending 2 hours doing both legs and upper. It's just better. Full body I just like it more than upper lower.
'cause on upper lower i can like ,you know, skip. I don't have to skip but I don't like I don't really skip legs. If I skip legs I skip everything, haha. You know I'm not just gonna do upper and not do lower but the fact that I have to commit to 4x a week but i only go(train each muscle group) twice a week.
That's why I don't think that I could do push pull legs again, get myself to go 6x a week I just can't do that. When I could take all that time and squish it into full body 3x a week and maybe do a bit more volume, well actually I am doing more volume, well I'm doing the same amount of volume except on certain exercises where I just can't be asked to do like
2 sets, 2 sets, 3 sets or something like that.
I'd rather just do 3 sets, 3 sets, 3 sets. So I'm doing a bit more volume on those ones. so yeah.
um, um yeah
I'm getting onto self-improvement a bit more. I'm tryna eat better, sleep better, actually do my homework, actually do my schoolwork 'cause I don't want to fail. I really don't want to fail you know.
But yeah I was just jogging and on this road there's no one here. Well there's like a few people but basically there's no one. so yeah
So yeah I don't really have the urge to eat like Kaspas or like chicken and chips all that much anymore like my mum's cooking is better.
It really is, so I'm really happy that my mum cooks for me and yeah helps me and stuff.
um
As well as that I "know" three languages. Isn't that crazy? I mean I "know" Portuguese, I'm learning German and I don't really wanna drop German so fuck it I'm doing 4 A-Levels.
I might live to regret it.(but atleast I'll live)
But I think my goal is A* A* A and like D. You know D in Computer Science. A* in German, A* in Maths, A in Physics and then like a C in Computer Science that's that's what I'm aiming for right now.
Though I need to put a lot more work in Physics to get that A so that's what I'm focusing on right now.
My German is pretty solid so I've started reading Andorra and getting through that. I wanna finish it a few times, read through it a few times, listen to the play a bit. Stuff like that. So then when we go (through) it in class I know everything and (am) not like confused or anything. So I want to do a few multipass readings of it.
So yeah
I'm trying to not listen to as much Youtube or like as much music and just live my life I guess.
I'm trying to keep it a bit more exclusive, like keep music and all that as like a treat (instead) of just a constant in my life.
I'd rather pull out my phone and record stuff like this than, cause I'm always talking to myself anyway. So I might as well record it. And that goes back to me loving recording shit.
I dunno.
When it's(life) recorded it feels more real. I-I can come back to it and I can see it and I can see what I was thinking, and I can see what I was saying and I can. I dunno listen to myself. Maybe I'm just narcissistic.
yeeah
I dunno if I'll put this on my blog, If I'll transcribe it. (believe me you will) or if I'll just upload this to Google Drive and upload that to my blog, so people can listen to it, umm I'll do both.
Speaking of which I need ask my dad to unblock Youtube so I can actually upload my study stuff with me and my minecraft stuff as well.
Can't be asked to transcribe the walking.
I don't wanna regret , you know don't wanna regret not doing German or regret not doing Physics or regret not doing Computer Science so even if I (am) not able to do the TMUA or like I am actually going through the book and stuff but If I'm not able to then you know it is what it is. If I atleast get the grades I'm looking for, A* in maths, I'll have to put a bit more work in to actually get that A* . aah I definitely need to do more Applied work, (I'm) going through 11 going through 10, I have a chapter 10 test on Tuesday and it's Sunday right now but I definitely need to revise ... but it's doable, it's manageable, I can do it. ya know.
haaah
Don't know If I'll be able to cope with having so many less studies, I was failing Maths anyway, failing Computer Science anyway, So I might as well not fail Physics, not fail Maths, fail Computer Science and yeah that's what I really want to do honestly. (damn sounds like I'm convincing myself bruh)
um
I dunno I like rambling.
(I) haven't really watched too much anime, lately I've been really ...
It's been good It's been good. I'm becoming more confident you know.
The more I say: "hey I'm going to study for 1 hour 30 minutes" and I actually study for 1 hour 30 minutes, the more I believe in myself when I say I'm going to study for 1 hour 30 minutes. you know. (I really like saying ya know jeez)
Instead of study for 1 hour 30 minutes and having an 8 hour break "What was I thinking?"
"Well I know what I was thinking, just uh 5 more minutes like a fucking idiot, I already know what happens when I think "oh oh just let me do another 30 minutes, it's only gonna be an hour and I'll get right back to it"
That's cap. You're not gonna get right back to it.
You're gonna go out there and you're gonna fucking haha procrastinate on the shit (you) live for man.
Cau-cause I like doing the work. I don't hate doing the work, I actually enjoy it, It brings me fufillment and I don't understand why I just like stop myself from doing the things that I actually enjoy. you know
haaah
-and (that) I know that's good for me, ok that's life I guess.
And it seems my parents have gone out aah that's just great.
fuck