Atila's Student Blog

Retired Journal

This will be where I journal for fun.
Back to Paper Journal again.

Wednesday 1st May 2024

How can I make my future self proud?

What to do during deep work?:

Even though quitting porn is a net positive on my life, I still see the grass as greener when I do quit.
Even after making a decision, life will get harder so make your decision and stick to it knowing that.

Tuesday 30th April 2024

I woke up yesterday at 2345.
I'm human. Isn't that crazy.
Today was a good day. I went to the gym and got lots done. My legs felt like jelly so I couldn't even be asked to walk home so I took the bus. I'm also feeling more confident when it comes to applied maths as I've started to revise and actually put stuff into anki which has been really helpful.
Practiced Clarinet for 25 min today. Feels great.
I'm so tired though.

Monday 29th April 2024

I woke up today at 0600.
In order to not fall back into bed I let myself pretend I was going back to sleep but actually just moved my bedsheets in such a way that I wouldn't be able to sleep again.
It looked like this.

I had a nice relaxing shower and got ready for school.
I also took a picture of my habit tracker.

0955 - Stokes equation is going to drive me crazy.

Sunday 28th April 2024

So two months ago I dropped physics. Tracking came out. My parents found out that I dropped physics. Little oopsie. I forgot to tell them. So now I'm trying to actually do deep work. I get on a roll and work for 1 hour 30 min. Something that was unthinkable just a few weeks ago. I'm trying to distance myself from youtube and stuff like that.
Not the easiest though.

Anyway onto actual journaling.
I woke up at around 5 am so I got 12 or 11 hours of sleep.
Actually the day before I put my phone in the other room so from around 1600 yesterday to 1300 today, I haven't used my phone. I only really felt the need for it for music, but that is solved with bluetooth speaker and my computer.
So I woke up and I only gave myself a few choices:

I like recording things, whether that be minecraft sessions with my friends (which were the highlights of my day) or my study sessions.
I think that there is something really cool about seeing things from the past in the present, but people just think it's weird and that's okay.

Brainrot

I've consumed too much brainrot.
It's started to affect my social life.
It needs to stop.

I was working for 1 hour 30 minutes and then my break happened. It was meant to only be 30 minutes but I stretched that shit to 5 hours so It was a bit too long.
I think that I've been addicted to youtube for the past 9 years and I want that to stop today.
Holy shit. I'm alive. That's crazy.
I dunno.

Sometimes I really really don't wanna be.
But I dunno that's just me.
tab:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJgF4nky6Bw&list=WL&index=9
The song above went crazy. What the hell.

1748 - dunno what to do. Well I know what I should do but I can't bring myself to do it. Thought It feels much easier to do it after writing the previous sentence you know. Bye

I went to the gym and it was great.
On the way home I recorded this little recording.
Which you can find here:
/walk-home-speech/
I got home and I wrote that post. I then did 1 hour of German homework until 0018 then I went to sleep.

2024-01-04

so much Anki I don't feel like a human being.
I hate anki
Fuck
I honestly hate hearing my own thoughts. No wonder

Let's fucking go. I did it . I beat anki. fuck you
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah

2024-01-03


Been doing Anki

I still have this many cards left. I'm so finished

2023-01-02

bruh

2024-01-01

I want to read https://stallman.org/stallman-computing.html
and https://sideritis.bearblog.dev/a-blog-a-modern-scriptorium/
and https://sideritis.bearblog.dev/a-funeral-across-the-channel/
and https://sideritis.bearblog.dev/

I've landed back in London. I woke up really early today though so I slept on the plane. I feel as though I annoyed the flight attendants too many times.

God Eater

I decided to endeavor

Been reading Matilda. It's a bit funny how much I didn't pick up on a kid. I didn't know about books like great expectations, pride and prejudice and oliver twist.

2023-12-31

It's almost the new year. I went to the gym today with my cousin. It was back and biceps. I had a blast absolutely embarrassing myself with exercises I've never done before. Like romanian deadlifts. My body coordination simply isn't there. Like I don't have a clear idea of what I want my body to do and how to get there. I ate a wonderful soup today with Maultaschen though I nearly burnt my toungue a few times. Honestly this trip to Germany has contrasted greatly with my life in London where I don't eat with my family all that often. I don't go outside and walk all that often. I definetly need to walk outside more. I might just go and do that right now. I didn't walk.
I ate some raclette with family and it was delicious but I still liked the Maultasche more as it was a more complex taste (I'm not sure how to describe it)
The Raclette looks like this in photos:

The Raclette looks kinda like that pictured above however it looked like this.
A bit more homely I believe. I also watched Loving Vincent. It was an interesting movie but I don't feel qualified to write a full review. All I'd like to say is that the Oil Painting animation grew on me. I honestly don't feel like staying up for the new year. It's not as important to me compared to when I was a child or as exciting.
Hehe


I wrote quite a bit this month. I'm a bit surprised with myself.
It has been quite hard to immerse as I used to. The 4 hour a day challenge feels like forever ago.

2023-12-30

I woke up. I went back to sleep and I woke up again. I got a good night's rest. My friend has started to code it's been very cool seeing him progress.
I've started to read the myth of sisyphus and honestly WTF is going on. Albert Camus is ... . I don't even know man.
I ate lots of chicken and rice today. It's given me a direction when it comes to my own chicken and rice journey. Eu preciso mais molho and that is no debate.
I hate this so much:

it's such a waste of space because I honestly don't care about what search results are trending now I only care about the results of whatever I have searched for.