Atila's Student Blog

Bad Apple

The song Bad Apple can be found here

Ever on and on, I continue circling
With nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony
Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing
And suddenly I see that I can't break free,

I continue circling, life or death.
Only my own thoughts of death to comfort me.
I forget with the various copes of life.
Why can't I leave

I'm Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity
With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony
To tell me who I am! Who I was!
Uncertainty enveloping my mind

I was.

Till I can't break free and
Maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real
But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel
So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside
And I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night

While I'm tired for other reasons, I do wish that I could feel nothing but the night

It really doesn't matter if I tell people how I feel. They aren't in my mind.

You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go
But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know
If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back
Because everything would change, and it all would fade to black

You could tell me to do this in that, but I would never truly care.
When I make another move to choose death, there'll be no more turning back.
It'd just all fade to black.

All the hatred in my eyes, building up an evil plan
Standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side!
Looking deep inside myself and revealing only fright

Of course I feel some hatred towards the current lack of right to die laws, and so I must build up an "evil" plan, because planning to kill yourself is evil in the eyes of the greater public.
I have to plan it alone, and I can't tell anyone and that hurts and frightens me.

Of course I'm scared of the process of dying. What if I fail?

So I'm back here once again, so I'm back here once again!
Can I ever make a change? Will my heart begin to mend?
Would you love me if I go? It feels like a heart attack!
But still everything's the same and it all just fades to black

I'm back to looking death in face. I don't believe I have it in me to change.

I just want to feel some love before I go. It hurts, it really hurts!
I want to die in peace! I don't want to die alone! I don't want to die in secrecy! I want to die after saying goodbye, with maybe a hug!

#music